Petrel™
Many people consider seabirds to be a pest - they create a mess, are very noisy and can spread disease. At Petrol Direct we see seabirds differently - as one of nature's great bounties.
Using a specially patented process along with our partners, the Shanghai Biofuel and Noodle Corporation (SBNC) we have developed Petrel™ a fuel source made from a mixture of seabird guano, combined with the rendered down, fermented and then distilled corpses of a variety of common gulls, albatrosses and terns. Tests have shown that this gives an fuel very closely equivalent to standard 95 RON unleaded petrol. Another advantage with Petrel™ is that government regulations count it as a foodstuff, so duty is only the standard 17.5% rate of VAT.
Vin Diesel™
Various countries have been experimenting with biodiesels for some time, but Petrol Direct has tapped into the legendary EU wine lakes to come up with Vin Diesel™. Made from the foulest and most undrinkable European wines (such as Blue Nun and Beaujolais Nouveau) we have come up with a range of diesel fuels that are incredibly cheap.. because the EU has subsidised them!
We can supply Vin Diesel™ in 0.75 litre bottles in red, white, pink or sparkling† varieties. This also makes an ideal Christmas gift for a loved one! (Not to be taken internally.)
†sparkling Vin Diesel™ may cause misfiring and head gasket failure if over-used.
Perfuel™
Aimed especially at lady drivers of Beetle Convertibles, Mazda MX5s and other girlie cars, Perfuel™ is an attractively fragrant biofuel made from processed rose petals.
The advantages of Perfuel™ are twofold - rose petals are a renewable energy source, and additionally it is the only fuel that perfumes the environment with a delicate aroma as you drive.
Sold in 15ml bottles at £300 per bottle.
