Baffled! No dash lights - no crank

[dekhelia]

I have had that before a number of times and the owner has sworn nothing had been done.

Thing is, I definitely did remove each fuse, both in the engine bay and the dash - but I took the precaution of photographing them before, so I knew each one would go back correctly. So unless I've got some kind of self-gaslighting disorder....

And also, the reason I started pulling fuses was that the car wouldn't start, not the other way round.

[Crasher]

A year or so ago my VCDS laptop packed up whilst doing the latest update released that day so I dug out my backup which had been in a plastic bag for months. The battery was totally dead so I put it on charge and fired the lap top up, I found the same latest VCDS update fully installed and working with all the setup steps completed including cable test and firmware update… explain that one?