Numpty of the week

[bricam1]

I know this is early but I could not believe this one.

Just heard this from a colleague of mine.

Please attend house to remove dead hedgehog from toilet. The person thinks it has crawled up the drain.

Engineer attends site and up dates the notes. Removed spiky hairbrush from toilet and released it into the garden.:biglaugh::biglaugh:

[kite]

Classic.............

[gazza57]

Saw an excellent one last week, this has to be a contender.

A woman in hartlepool returned to her local B&Q to complain that the disposable BBQ she bought, you know the ones with the foil lid had no meat in it.
The assistant respectfully told her meat was not included( apart from the fact no BBQ's are inclusive of meat would not the price give you a clue?) and would she like a refund?
She said yes and the assistant said I see from the receipt you had bought three BBQ's, do you want to return all three?
she replied that the other two were still at home....in the freezer!
something tells me that one would not wish to be within a mile of this person with a lit BBQ!
Gazza57:D

[Dudey Head]

Saw an excellent one last week, this has to be a contender.

A woman in hartlepool returned to her local B&Q to complain that the disposable BBQ she bought, you know the ones with the foil lid had no meat in it.
The assistant respectfully told her meat was not included( apart from the fact no BBQ's are inclusive of meat would not the price give you a clue?) and would she like a refund?
She said yes and the assistant said I see from the receipt you had bought three BBQ's, do you want to return all three?
she replied that the other two were still at home....in the freezer!
something tells me that one would not wish to be within a mile of this person with a lit BBQ!
Gazza57:D

Oh dear!! What a numbskull. It's people like that that make companies put warnings such "may contain traces of nut" on a packet of peanuts and "do not iron clothes whilst wearing" etc. etc.

[ImCammers]

Oh dear!! What a numbskull. It's people like that that make companies put warnings such "may contain traces of nut" on a packet of peanuts and "do not iron clothes whilst wearing" etc. etc.

I saw the best one in the United States, which was on a hair dryer which says 'Do not use in the bath'

The problem is even worse out there, because they live in a society, which is inclinded to sue each other.

A) Who uses a hair dryer in the bath?
B) What kinda monumental R-Tard have you gotta be to even attempt that?

[Desertfish]

Oh... if you want to go that way... How about the sticker they put on the bottom of a box containing a cake: "Please do not turn upside down!" Bit late innit? one would have thought the numpties would have put the sticker on the top of the box... :confused:

[MalcQV]

..or the "The contents may be hot" on the side of the coffee cup :p

[pon]

Hot Apple pies from McD's should be renamed luke warm apple pies all because some numpty's complained that they were to hot.
Not the same now, half the fun was trying to eat them without swearing.
They also have caution filling may be hot on the packaging

[ImCammers]

Hot Apple pies from McD's should be renamed luke warm apple pies all because some numpty's complained that they were to hot.
Not the same now, half the fun was trying to eat them without swearing.
They also have caution filling may be hot on the packaging

American Company? They have to kinda point out the obvious! So they dont have a law suit on there hands

Just wait to the day that Mcdonalds puts 'This Product may be cold' on there Ice cream and other diary products!

Reminds me of the time, i was coming home from Mcdonalds, and i thought, ah well ill put these Milkshakes on the passenger seat of my Golf, knowning full well that it had cupholders, i went round the roundabout and the cups fell over in there carbord stand thing they give you which quite clearly is NO use what so ever, luckily for me the lids were still on, or i would have been swearing like sailor! Since i have a Grey interior, that would have left a huge mess!

On the upside i suppose, atleast the car would have smelt of chocolate milkshake?

[Flakmunky]

Although quite old, this gets my vote of Numpty of the Decade:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgMTmXcMS1E

At what point did "Let's stick a rocket in my ar$e and light it" sound like a good idea?!

And you all must have heard of the Darwin awards?

If not try this for size: http://www.darwinawards.com/

[ImCammers]

Although quite old, this gets my vote of Numpty of the Decade:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgMTmXcMS1E

At what point did "Let's stick a rocket in my ar$e and light it" sound like a good idea?!

And you all must have heard of the Darwin awards?

If not try this for size: http://www.darwinawards.com/

I reckon that video, was one of those random drunken moments where he thought 'this sounds like a good idea' when in reality it really really wasn't.

Cant say id ever do this though....drunken or sober.

[Flakmunky]

Still makes me laugh when the rocket explodes whilst he is running around.... :)

[pon]

Numpty of the week
Team leader at work mistakenly set his sat nav to avoid toll roads at the weekend when he was directed the long way round the m25 he still followed its directions knowing he was going in the wrong direction.

Numpty of the year
Service rep gets his van stuck under a low railway bridge in London apparently not his fault as the sat nav told him to drive past a 9"3' sign in his 10"2' van. Only saving grace is its a disused bridge.

Idiots & Technology

[pon]

Has to be my other half.

Whilst connecting up the taps in the new kitchen I'm fitting I asked what side is the hot while I was lying on my back with head in cupboard. Now I have hot coming out the cold & vice versa. Her excuse was she thought I wanted to know what way the taps were in her house:aargh4:

[ImCammers]

Has to be my other half.

Whilst connecting up the taps in the new kitchen I'm fitting I asked what side is the hot while I was lying on my back with head in cupboard. Now I have hot coming out the cold & vice versa. Her excuse was she thought I wanted to know what way the taps were in her house:aargh4:

haaha!

So she said, the way they were, you facing the other way did it exactly how it was said :)

On the other hand, atleast you've never done anything like this numpty!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEOWEGHyykE

[pon]

Nope. I also know even when I'm not looking that when she said left that she looked at her hands first to work out what is left and right:dunno:

[ali_a4_avant]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8173308.stm

This pair have to be up there with the best....

"Capri is an island. They did not even wonder why they didn't cross any bridge or take any boat,":aargh4:

[pon]

I'll take the numpty of the day for this post
http://www.vwaudiforum.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?p=391978#post391978:buttkick:

[gazza57]

This one's got a chance to be up there, my mate's neighbour had invited some people to their house during the summer and eight of them were sat around a large table in the garden enjoying a meal, the neighbour had plugged in a heated trolley for keeping the food hot in the cooler evenings.
He had earlier made an extension lead and rolled it out, plugged it in and then headed toward the other end to plug it in to the heated trolley, he picked up the lead and headed toward the trolley when he realised he needed a socket on the end of the lead and not a plug, which he had wrongly fitted so he went to place it on the ground and got an electric shock.
The pins of the plug were live as he had put a plug on each end!
His wife thought he had invented some sort of new scottish reel as he jumped around the garden yelping, my mate thought the others wanted to join in but were too polite to do so without first asking ( perhaps once he had began to smoulder they might have noticed something wasn't quite right).
Conclusive proof that some people are too dense to use electricity without proper supervision!
Gazza57:o

[gazza57]

Another one surfaces!

My mate at work got a phone call from his wife who told him the car had broken down and steam was coming from the engine compartment.
He has just bought a brand new BMW 320i cabriolet.
He told her to call assistance from the local BMW garage, however when he got home in the evening, the horrible truth dawned.
After ringing off a well meaning passer by brought her out a 5 litre container of water telling her that once the car had cooled down she would be able to refill the cooling system which had sprung a leak and limp along to the dealership instead of waiting around for them to turn up.
She added the water after waiting for around 30 minutes for it to cool down sufficiently, then proceeded to drive to the dealership after about another 1/2 mile the car stopped again.
The BMW assistance found her picked up the car and took it back to the dealership.
Once there they discovered that the car had indeed sprung a leak in the cooling system which could be easily rectified.
However the addition of 5 litres of water in to the oil sump plus running the car for 1/2 mile completely devoid of any coolant whatsoever spelt the death knell for the engine £9500...and no warranty cover due to negligence, ouch!
Gazza57:D

[hagis]

Classic. How did he take the news?

[gazza57]

hagis,
I think his reaction is better left imagined than described!
Gazza57:D

[MalcQV]

That was not good. A relation of my mum's (not sure how) has a Saab turbo and asked me if I could check the cooling water level. She was nudging me towards the brake reservoir. Credit where it is due, she did say she would never of attempted it herself. It had happened before, bright lights on the dash and she was charged a fair wedge by the local dealer I believe, though could not say for certain if it was the same problem....

[JSH]

..or the "The contents may be hot" on the side of the coffee cup :p

A local Burger joint close to where I live, You order a burger and it comes in a box claiming it may contain Meat!........... Acctually this may be a fact!
May contain cats is probably close to the truth!.
John