Stupid Questions

[Captain Answer]

Had any recently?

Whilst selling a car this week I was asked how it's 2 litre engine compared on fuel consumption to other 2 litre engined cars - How in all of the world would I know, I haven't driven most of them and I'm not really one for driving in double figure MPG anyway

[zollaf]

whilst working as a vw assistance technician, i was on a call out to top up someones oil, and they asked me what the snowflake symbol was in the glovebox on their passat. rather than explain, i started the car, switched the aircon on and showed them. oh, thats good he said, but why? and this chap had Dr at the front of his name.

[Mini Mark]

I work for the family joinery business so obviously we work with wood. I had one chap ring up asking if we made things with real wood?? When I explained yes we did but we also used MDF boards etc, he then asked if we made UPVC windows:confused::confused::confused: erm no I said we a joinery company he put the phone down!!

[macmillions]

When I was at school a number of years ago (I was 17 at the time), a classmate asked my science teacher if he "had any liquid gas".

:rolleyes:

[elvismiggell]

A friend of ours recently asked a gay couple who are also friends of ours if homosexuality was hereditary.

She's a radiographer at the local hospital.

Won't be going there anytime soon!

[onzarob]

May favorite is 'What is it like being a twin?"

my answer, "what is it like not being one?";)

[zollaf]

this one time, in vw assistance, i got called out to a very worried owner with a new 04 beetle. he was concerned about a blue flashing light on his dash board, and asked me what it meant. pillock. i actually sat down with him and got him to find it in the manual.

[paul b]

Last night, when wifey's sister explained that their mum and dad had stupidly fitted a black bar across the back door so that burglars couldn't get in.

Then wifey asks, "on the outside of the door or the inside?"

She is blonde. ;)

[kodkod.84]

this one time, in vw assistance, i got called out to a very worried owner with a new 04 beetle. he was concerned about a blue flashing light on his dash board, and asked me what it meant. pillock. i actually sat down with him and got him to find it in the manual.

Out of interest what is the blue flashing light on a beetle- never driven one so wouldn't know, or was he that thick he was looking at the main beam light :)

[zollaf]

the then new beetle doesnt have a temperature guage. instead it has a blue flashing light when its cold, which then goes out when warm, and changes to a red flashing light if it gets too hot. this is a classic case of rtfm. obviously if you dont have a beetle, you wouldnt be expected to know this. the main thing is that i had to go to him, and treat it as a breakdown, and probably drove 100 miles there and back. i didnt know what it was either when i got there, but had a good idea, and knew it would be in the manual. so i sat down in the car with him and made him read the book until he found it. then i called HQ, told them it was a fix, and got paid for it. you would not believe how much money was spent on jobs like this.

[NickPicks]

the then new beetle doesnt have a temperature guage.

Did they have to delete the temp gauge to make room for the flower holder?

[zollaf]

LOL. i think the real reason is so they feel more like the old beetle, what with the big round speedo. not really anything else i can think of thats like the old beetle.

[hagis]

In years gone by, I was doing an IT support job and was waiting for someone's laptop to finish loading Windows. Out of boredom, I was playing with the mouse and circling the pointer on the screen. The laptop's owner said to me:
"Does that make the computer go faster?"

[Sam]

Not a stupid question as such, but fitting for this thread.

Science lesson, 1990 (I think), secondary school.

At the front of the lab is a model of a skeleton, the teachers asks the class, "Does anyone know how we can tell this is a female skeleton"

Large kid to my right raises his hand, the teacher points to him and out of his mouth come seven words that will shape the rest of his life;

"Because it doesn't have a penis bone"

Comedy gold.

[dansansome]

i got asked it orange wednesdays were valid on another day of the week.


oh, and also what the difference between a jammy dodger and a creamy dodger was.

[Hex69]

i got asked it orange wednesdays were valid on another day of the week.


oh, and also what the difference between a jammy dodger and a creamy dodger was.

Wow, long time no post...:D

You must have a lot of reading to catch up on......:biglaugh:

Welcome back.

[paul b]

Wow, long time no post...:D

You must have a lot of reading to catch up on......:biglaugh:

Welcome back.
+2! :biggthump

[Dudey Head]

Not a stupid question as such, but fitting for this thread.

Science lesson, 1990 (I think), secondary school.

At the front of the lab is a model of a skeleton, the teachers asks the class, "Does anyone know how we can tell this is a female skeleton"

Large kid to my right raises his hand, the teacher points to him and out of his mouth come seven words that will shape the rest of his life;

"Because it doesn't have a penis bone"

Comedy gold.

:biglaugh::biglaugh: Now that cracked me up!! :biglaugh::biglaugh:


+2! :biggthump

+3 :flowers1:



Not so much a question but nontheless pertinent. About three years ago Mrs. Dudey and I, my brother & a mate were all chilling having a couple of beers when for some reason Moby **** was mentioned, to which Mrs. D piped up "he's a pixie or something like that, isn't he?"
Us three chaps all looked at each other with a mixture of amusement and confusion then looked at her for some trace of irony, but alas there was none!! It took about ten minutes for us to convince her he was a whale & not a pixie, bless!! :rolleyes: :D

[dickymint]

Not a stupid question but a sign in a jewelers shop window in Knaresborough some years ago...........

'Ears pierced while you wait'

[hongkongstuey]

i got asked if the reason sheep had shorter front legs is so that they can walk up hills better? we had to also explain that sheep didnt have shorter front legs and asked her to explain what happens when they go down hill?she said this in a pub full of my mates who all ****** themselves laughing!!

also, my cousin posted a pic on her facebook, cant find it now but it was a hospital sign that read

'family planning please use rear entrance' :beerchug: :biglaugh:

[johnloaderuk]

When I was at school a number of years ago (I was 17 at the time), a classmate asked my science teacher if he "had any liquid gas".

:rolleyes:

Not so stupid now, as many garage forecourts sell Liquid Petroleum Gas (LPG), but I know what you mean.

Maybe he was super clever, and just a bit ahead of his time.

[sooty]

Ha Ha I know the feeling there mate... us IT support people get a lot of stupid questions!


In years gone by, I was doing an IT support job and was waiting for someone's laptop to finish loading Windows. Out of boredom, I was playing with the mouse and circling the pointer on the screen. The laptop's owner said to me:
"Does that make the computer go faster?"

[Desertfish]

During history lessons in 4th grade, our teacher asked us if anyone knew when Napoleon had died. Since no one was raising his hand to provide the answer, she just picked out a volunteer. The guy she pointed at didn't have a clue so just told her he didn't know because he never received an invite for the funeral... :biglaugh:

[MalcQV]

during history lessons in 4th grade, our teacher asked us if anyone knew when napoleon had died. Since no one was raising his hand to provide the answer, she just picked out a volunteer. The guy she pointed at didn't have a clue so just told her he didn't know because he never received an invite for the funeral... :biglaugh:
:p:p

[Dudey Head]

Dudey Jr. asked me a couple of months ago if "babies come out your bum?" She looked absolutey horrified when I gently explained that they come "out of ladies front bits" & ate the rest of her breakfast very quietly!! :o

[hagis]

Not a stupid question, but a stupid statement worthy of a mention:

When you find something that you've been searching for, why do some people say
"It's always in the last place you look..."
Where the F-else would it be?? If it was in the second to last place you looked you wouldn't keep searching for it, would you??

[Dudey Head]

Not a stupid question, but a stupid statement worthy of a mention:

When you find something that you've been searching for, why do some people say
"It's always in the last place you look..."
Where the F-else would it be?? If it was in the second to last place you looked you wouldn't keep searching for it, would you??

You know, I've never thought of it that way before!! It can't be anywhere else but the last!

[ledburyloafer]

you could always try looking in the last place first,..to save time!

[ali_a4_avant]

In Junior School, the local Vicar came in to assembly to talk about god and other made up stuff about once every month.

On one occassion, he offered the question of, "does anybody know what the name of the 12 'friends' of Jesus were called?".....to which the lad from my year put his hand up and said (with a completely straight face), "prostitutes?":biglaugh:

The Vicar and teachers jaws hit the floor and quickly marched him out of the hall. Only a few of us older ones realised what he had done. I would have loved to see some parents faces when asking what their children learned at school that day.....'Jesus had friends called Prostitutes Mummy':Blush2:

[MalcQV]

In Junior School, the local Vicar came in to assembly to talk about god and other made up stuff about once every month.

On one occassion, he offered the question of, "does anybody know what the name of the 12 'friends' of Jesus were called?".....to which the lad from my year put his hand up and said (with a completely straight face), "prostitutes?":biglaugh:

The Vicar and teachers jaws hit the floor and quickly marched him out of the hall. Only a few of us older ones realised what he had done. I would have loved to see some parents faces when asking what their children learned at school that day.....'Jesus had friends called Prostitutes Mummy':Blush2:
:p:p:p:D

[omegadirective]

Not a stupid question, but a stupid statement worthy of a mention:

When you find something that you've been searching for, why do some people say
"It's always in the last place you look..."
Where the F-else would it be?? If it was in the second to last place you looked you wouldn't keep searching for it, would you??


You know, I've never thought of it that way before!! It can't be anywhere else but the last!


Took the words out of my mouth Dudey! :) I've never thought of it that way.

I couldn't find my belt this morning. I took it off last night and was looking everywhere for it. I haven't found it yet but I've just remembered where it is...

It's the "last place" I'd ever look... I tied it round a coat hanger because I didn't have enough hands free to carry everything upstairs! I'd hardly think to look for it inside a shirt! :1zhelp: ...Am I going mad?:aargh4:

[Rusk]

Not a stupid question, but a stupid statement worthy of a mention:

When you find something that you've been searching for, why do some people say
"It's always in the last place you look..."
Where the F-else would it be?? If it was in the second to last place you looked you wouldn't keep searching for it, would you??

Someone has been watching Lee Evans :biglaugh: His bit on that is so funny!

[eob]

I got one.
The other week we were chatting about dental hygene at work and someone mentioned that I had a toothbrush in my desk and the guy sitting opposite asked "A toothbrush? Whats that for?" :eek:

He got the **** ripped for ages. :D

He is from Paisley mind you so that may explain a few things.:biglaugh:;)