Cars, Valentines, and . . . oops

[Teutonic_Tamer]

The time for any romantic Cupids is approaching, but be careful out there!

Taken from Darwin Awards:
First division Romanian soccer midfielder Mario Bugeanu, 24, and Mirela Iancu, 23, couldn't wait to make love on Sunday. As soon as the car was parked, they consummated their passion. They died from carbon monoxide poisoning shortly thereafter, inside the vehicle they left running in the garage during their liaison.

The couple was discovered by Mario's father Monday morning. "They appeared to be unaware of the dangers of carbon monoxide," police colonel Dumitru Secrieru said.

And another:
A young Mexican couple were found dead in the back of a hearse. Jose, 23, employed by the Perez Diaz funeral home in Campeche, met Ana Maria on Saturday for a romantic tryst in his hearse. He parked in a warehouse and left the engine running to provide air conditioning.

In the enclosed location, the carbon monoxide-laden exhaust fumes seeped into the vehicle, fatally poisoning the couple. Their bodies were found when Ana Maria's mother initiated a search for her missing daughter.

What a way to go!

[Teutonic_Tamer]

Okeechobee County investigators believe the death of Bryan, 28, was related to his wife's habit of stomping rabbits and mice for sexual pleasure. Stephanie, 29, was sentenced to two years of probation and community service for the death of her husband Bryan, who was found in a pit with a board over his body, crushed beneath the rear wheel of his sports utility vehicle.

Stephanie did not deny that she drove over her husband, but in her own defence she released tapes to the police showing her stomping small mammals to death. She was identified by a cryptic tattoo on her lower leg.

Such "crush" videos are sold to people who derive sexual pleasure from the sight of death, especially at the hands of a woman. "It was abhorrent and cruel," said Assistant State Attorney Bernard Romero. "My first instinct was to seek the maximum penalty."

But Stephanie contended that she was an unwilling participant in the videos, and had been beaten many times by her husband prior to his bizarre death. Stephanie was charged in July with two counts of felony animal cruelty, which were later reduced to misdemeanors.

As for her husband, his death under the wheels of his car was presumably a loving sex act between consenting adults. But a man who would lie in a special pit while a woman he groomed for "crush" videos drove over him, shouldn't be surprised when he winds up holding a Darwin Award.

[Teutonic_Tamer]

(7 May 2000, Italy) Full speed ahead!
A young couple was killed in a freak car accident in Chieti this weekend. Germano and Franciska were discovered almost completely naked, and investigators assume they were having sex in their small Italian vehicle while it raced along Abruzzan roads at upwards of 80mph. Italian youngsters commonly use their cars for romantic trysts when parents forbid sex before marriage. But it is a mystery why this pair chose sex in a car travelling at high speeds over country roads. Germano lost control of the car in a bend, and the 27-year old man and his 20-year-old paramour were killed by the impact.

[Teutonic_Tamer]

Alan Hall, 48, was found collapsed on the front lawn of his brother's Fairfield home on December 5, 8 hours after his penis had been cut off at the base. Paramedics rushed Hall to North Bay Medical Center, where surgeons were unsuccessful in their attempts to reattach his severed organ.
Hall blamed the maiming on a woman named Brenda, whom he met at a local gas station the previous night. He brought Brenda to his trailer, parked in the driveway of his brother's Fairfield home, and had sex. Around 3AM, the woman mentioned revenge and cut off his penis with a razor-sharp hobby knife, then fled the trailer on foot. Details of the attack were sketchy, and police were unsure why Hall could not defend himself. Fairfield police Lieutenant William Gresham said Hall may have been using drugs.
A heated manhunt for Brenda ensued. She was described as a 42-year-old white female, 5' 7" and 135 pounds, dressed in a white blouse, navy blue jacket and blue slacks, and possibly driving a brown Ford F350 pickup truck.
Meanwhile, after being discharged from the hospital on Monday, Hall drove off in a pickup hitched to his trailer and disappeared. Detectives were eager to interview him again, but were unable to locate him due to his transient lifestyle.
More intriguing details began to emerge. Hall was arrested during the 1970's for drug possession and drunk driving. In 1982 he was arrested for taking his young daughter out of state. Psychological tests suggested that he suffered permanent mental trauma while serving with the U.S. Navy in Vietnam, causing blackouts and alcoholism. His ex-wife described him as a packrat who enjoyed taking trips in his mobile trailer home.

In 1983 Hall was convicted of voluntary manslaughter of a 23-year-old Suisun City woman found strangled in a car parked at a local Denny's restaurant on 17 February. Hall confessed to the murder, saying that she taunted him about his inability to achieve an erection when he tried to have sex with her. His statement was ruled inadmissible because of improper police interrogation techniques, and prosecutors agreed to let Hall plead guilty to voluntary manslaughter. He served half of a six-year prison term.
Police speculated that the woman who cut off his penis may have been carrying out a 14-year-old vendetta for the slaying of her friend. But the truth was even stranger. When Hall was finally located and interviewed on Thursday, he admitted that he cut off his own penis. A voice stress analyzer indicated that he was telling the truth. "At this point, there is no evidence that a crime occurred," police Lieutenant William Gresham said in a press release. "The case is being reclassified as an injured person report." Hall may face misdemeanor charges for filing a false police report. Ironically, Alan Hall works as a pipe-fitter, according to court records.

[devonutopia]

he admitted that he cut off his own penis.

NOOOOOOOOOOO! What a nutcase! By the way - any single ladies around the ages of 20-35 wanting some practise at car related activities this Feb 14th, get in touch!

[Teutonic_Tamer]

A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said Friday.


The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise.

"He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape," a police spokesman said.

The man from the town of Chongwe, about 50 km (30 miles) east of Lusaka, killed himself after being admonished by other villagers.
The hen was slaughtered after the incident.