Help Identifying noise

[fourringsrus]

Shocker bushes, are they visible?

[malum]

You say the car has been dry stored for 8 years, does that mean parked up/ unused for 8 years or just that it has always been a garaged car.
If unused then a lot of bushes could be dried out or perished but not necessarily showing failure.

Yes, sorry that was ambiguous. Always garaged. In regular use.

[malum]

Update:
I had the suspension strut out and the top mount is fine, no cracks or pershing. I'm running out of things it might be. It's also getting worse which helps a little! It now makes the noise over rough road surfaces as well.
I noticed that after it had been up on axle stands and then dropped back to the floor it takes two or three accelerating/braking cycles for the noise to come back.
To me this points to the suspension struts themselves. I have ordered a set on the basis that it's on the original dampers and at 90,000 miles they must be pretty worn.

My wheel alignment was so far out of whack from all the messing about that the ESP light came on (I read that it has a sensor for the wheels pointing in the wrong directions LOL) I redid the alignment by eye and it's now OK. Obviously I'll have it redone by the garage after I'm done changing things.

Has anyone used one of the cheap alignment kits from ebay
Trackace Laser Wheel Alignment Tracker / Tracking Toe Gauge | eBay

and are they any good?

I'd only have to use it twice for it to pay for itself.

[FrenchAudi]

Just a wild suggestion.

Is it possible that something which has been replaced has not been tightened up correctly? e.g. some linkages etc. should only be tightened with the wheels on the ground with the normal load in the car.

[malum]

Just a wild suggestion.

Is it possible that something which has been replaced has not been tightened up correctly? e.g. some linkages etc. should only be tightened with the wheels on the ground with the normal load in the car.

Thanks for the suggestion, wild or otherwise!
The lower control arms and link were all replaced by me 4 years ago (with a jack under the hub to lift the car to normal load) and that's the last time they were touched until just the other day when I torqued them all up to see if they were OK (they were all fine)
Upper control arms were replaced by me a few weeks ago and the ball joint ends have been disconnected and reconnected countless times since then in my search for the problem! It's only the rubber bushing end of those that needs tightening under vehicle load (or measured distance from the top of the strut) which I did.
I have re-torqued the sub-frame mounts and gearbox mounts.

[FrenchAudi]

Have you checked the brake caliper mounting and pads on that side, also if anything stuck in the brake mechanics? How about the female splines in the hub?

[malum]

Have you checked the brake caliper mounting and pads on that side, also if anything stuck in the brake mechanics? How about the female splines in the hub?

Yes to the brake pads and mounting. All been out cleaned and reinstalled. Caliper bolts are tight and pad retaining bolts and spring all good.
Female splines in the hub I have not checked specifically but I didn't notice any free play when I reassembled them and they were all cleaned and reassembled with Loctite 641 Bearing Fit Retainer just the other day which if they were were worn I would expect to silence or at least improve things if only for a short time

[FrenchAudi]

I suggest you get it over a longish pit, where you can drive back and forth to duplicate the noise while someone looks/listens from below.

[malum]

I suggest you get it over a longish pit, where you can drive back and forth to duplicate the noise while someone looks/listens from below.

It's booked into the garage for Sat unless the new struts solve the problem!
I think anyone would be doing pretty well to see what the problem is as someone drove over their head though

[FrenchAudi]

I rather hope they'd have enough sense to keep their head down and I meant drive slooowly