Notices
 

  

User Tag List

Thread: Bananas - is it them, or me?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
  1. Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Worcestershire
    Posts
    499
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    3 Post(s)
    I buy bananas from the banana shop.

    I used to buy bright yellow bananas, but gave up doing that. By the time you've got home, your bright yellow bananas will have gone spotty and soft, and in the final part of the journey you will have been hotly pursued by a small cloud of fruit flies which have been attracted by the unmistakeable smell of putrefying banana wafting from your carrier bag.

    I don't like bananas which have gone so soft that you can break off the end and squeeze out the contents like toothpaste.

    I like my bananas to be firm. I like to be able to unpeel it, and have the fruit inside remain erect, and for it not to subside like a post-coital todger and then fall soggily on to the floor.

    I've tried buying unripe bananas. Green bananas. That way they last a bit longer - only a few hours, usually - but what happens if you are smitten with an insatiable craving for a banana before they have ripened?

    You might as well try to eat a wooden tent peg.

    And even that's assuming you can prise it from its Mil-spec Aerospace-grade Multi-role combat skin.

    So you leave them for a little while to ripen.

    You watch them carefully, checking their colour and gently palpating them from time to time in the hope of discovering the optimum moment to snap one from the bunch, lasciviously unpeel it, and enjoy its tropical rudenesses.

    You might think you could do that. You might keep a security camera trained on your bananas, and watch them like a hawk-eyed security guard for that elusive moment of ripeness.

    But you will miss it.

    You will.

    Your attention will slip for a moment. You may sneeze, or you may look away for a split second.

    And in that split second, your bananas will go black and turn to mush.

    I love a banana, but they are a very trying fruit.

    .
     
    2 3 0
     

  2. Re: Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    10
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    0 Post(s)
    You need to buy them unripe first! Not too green, just green enough. Never buy too many in one go either. We all love bananas, but you have to be patient
     
    0 0 0
     

  3. Re: Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    West Yorkshire
    Posts
    741
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    8 Post(s)
    Bananas - is it them, or me?


    Sounds like its you Phutters old friend.
    NOW GONE 2007 A6 2.7TDi Avant Le Mans Edition (180)

    Mods:- ECU Remap, Rear Air Suspension, Rear Led Lights, Rear View Camera, Rear Privacy Glass, Titanium wheels, Colour Coded Fog Light Surrounds, FBMFSW, AMI, DAB, Chrome S6 pedals, Front Grille De-chrome, window surround de-chrome.
     
    0 0 0
     

  4. Re: Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Nottingham, England
    Posts
    32,225
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    2
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    135 Post(s)
    I like bananas but Mrs Crasher won't buy them because she has read too many stories of big hairy jumping spiders. Siders she hates, spider that jump, well....
    Dark was that day when Diesel conceived his grim engine that begot you, vile invention, more vicious, more criminal than the camera even, metallic monstrosity, bale and bane of our culture, chief woe of our Commonweal. How dare the Law prohibit hashish and heroin yet license your use, who inflate all weak inferior egos? Their addicts only do harm to their own lives: you poison the lungs of the innocent, your din dithers the peaceful, and on choked roads hundreds must daily die by chance-medley. Nimble technicians, surely you should hang your heads in shame. Your wit works mighty wonders, has landed men on the Moon, replaced brains by computers, and can smithy a "smart" bomb. It is a crying scandal that you cannot take the time or be bothered to build us, what sanity knows we need, an odorless and noiseless staid little electric brougham.

    W.H. Auden (1907-1973), A Curse:


    www.helpforheroes.org.uk

    Keep XH558 in the air
    www.vulcantothesky.org

     
    0 0 0
     

  5. Re: Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Wessex. and Southern France
    Posts
    1,866
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Well we had a power cut this morning.

    My PC, TV, DVD, shut down.

    Then I discovered that my phone and tablet batteries were dead.

    To top it off, it was raining so I couldn’t go for a walk, bike, or run.

    The garage door opener needed electricity so I couldn’t go anywhere in the car.


    I went to the kitchen to make coffee and then remembered this also needed power, so I sat and talked with the wife for a while.

    She seems like a nice person
    Quote "My tuner told me after he fitted the box that 0-60 should be around 2.6 seconds! "
     
    0 1 0
     

  6. Re: Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Nottingham, England
    Posts
    32,225
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    2
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    135 Post(s)
    What, a "conversation"?, like in books or in films? Mrs Crasher has been, Mrs Crasher for 26 years and I still don't know her first name......
    Dark was that day when Diesel conceived his grim engine that begot you, vile invention, more vicious, more criminal than the camera even, metallic monstrosity, bale and bane of our culture, chief woe of our Commonweal. How dare the Law prohibit hashish and heroin yet license your use, who inflate all weak inferior egos? Their addicts only do harm to their own lives: you poison the lungs of the innocent, your din dithers the peaceful, and on choked roads hundreds must daily die by chance-medley. Nimble technicians, surely you should hang your heads in shame. Your wit works mighty wonders, has landed men on the Moon, replaced brains by computers, and can smithy a "smart" bomb. It is a crying scandal that you cannot take the time or be bothered to build us, what sanity knows we need, an odorless and noiseless staid little electric brougham.

    W.H. Auden (1907-1973), A Curse:


    www.helpforheroes.org.uk

    Keep XH558 in the air
    www.vulcantothesky.org

     
    1 0 0
     

  7. Re: Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Wessex. and Southern France
    Posts
    1,866
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Apparently mine's called Alexandra, which is nice!
    Quote "My tuner told me after he fitted the box that 0-60 should be around 2.6 seconds! "
     
    1 0 0
     

  8. Re: Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Edinburgh, Scotland
    Posts
    52
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    7 Post(s)
    Keep your banana away from the other fruit as its will ripen that super fast and turn it to mush too.

    Bananas are the devil in the fruit bowl!!!
     
    0 0 0
     

  9. Re: Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Nottingham, England
    Posts
    32,225
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    2
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    135 Post(s)
    No tomatoes are the enemy, they are a fruit but other fruit hate them so much (Kiwi fruit have a particular repugnance for tomatoes) they made tomatoes go to the vegetable rack where people turn them into purée for slathering on pizza or Tomato soup which is the appetiser of the Devil himself….
    Dark was that day when Diesel conceived his grim engine that begot you, vile invention, more vicious, more criminal than the camera even, metallic monstrosity, bale and bane of our culture, chief woe of our Commonweal. How dare the Law prohibit hashish and heroin yet license your use, who inflate all weak inferior egos? Their addicts only do harm to their own lives: you poison the lungs of the innocent, your din dithers the peaceful, and on choked roads hundreds must daily die by chance-medley. Nimble technicians, surely you should hang your heads in shame. Your wit works mighty wonders, has landed men on the Moon, replaced brains by computers, and can smithy a "smart" bomb. It is a crying scandal that you cannot take the time or be bothered to build us, what sanity knows we need, an odorless and noiseless staid little electric brougham.

    W.H. Auden (1907-1973), A Curse:


    www.helpforheroes.org.uk

    Keep XH558 in the air
    www.vulcantothesky.org

     
    0 0 0
     

  10. Re: Bananas - is it them, or me? 
    #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Washington DC
    Posts
    1
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    0 Post(s)
    I think it's you friend. you have to buy the bananas with a bit of green at the tip of it. It will give you enough time so it will be perfectly ripe when you get home. Not mushy.
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ___________________
    Pest Control washington DC
     
    0 0 0
     

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Bookmarks
Bookmarks
Posting Permissions
  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  




  



Disclaimer: VW Audi Forum is an "independant enthusiast website", administered in line with guidelines supplied by VAG in the UK, and is in no way related to any of the Worldwide Volkswagen,Audi,Seat,Skoda,Bentley,Bugatti,Porsche or Lamborghini group of Companies. For official up to date information on any of there vehicles, please visit the official websites. Any comments made throughout this website, are the views of the respective poster, and in no way represent the views of the VW Audi Forum Administration, or the worldwide Volkswagen & Audi Group of companies.


VW Audi Forum do not vet and are not responsible for any information which is posted in this forum. All content is viewed and used by you at your own risk and we do not warrant the accuracy or reliability of any of the information.


Copyright: Certain "words", "phrases" and "Images" used on this website by the Administration are "Copyright" of Volkswagen GB, Volkswagen AG (Germany), Audi GB, Audi AG (Germany), Volkswagen Motorsport GB, Volkswagen Motorsport AG (Germany), Audi Motorsport AG (Germany), Volkswagen Racing GB, Bentley, Bugatti, Porsche and Lamborghini. No image can be replicated by anyone WITHOUT the relevant Companies written permission.


All trademarks and copyrights remain property of their respective owners.

No part of the VW Audi Forum website or forum may be reproduced without written permission from the site administration


PLEASE NOTE - PERSONAL ABUSE, ABUSE AGAINST THIS OR ANY OTHER WEBSITE OR ANY COMPANY WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. OFFENDERS WILL BE MODERATED OR EVEN BANNED.


This website and forum are best viewed at a minimum resolution of 1024 by 768.



  



- VW AUDI Forum - The #1 Volkswagen (VW) Group Forum - Volkswagen (VW) - Audi - Seat - Skoda - Bentley - Bugatti - Lamborghini - Porsche - VW Audi Forum -


- www.vwaudiforum.co.uk - www.vwaudiforum.co.uk -